15 Ways Being a Mom/SAHM is Like Being on OITNB

titleOITNB

My sister and I, both stay-at-home-moms (SAHM), have just finished watching the second season of Orange is the New Black (OITNB) on Netflix after putting the kiddos to bed.
Trust me – you need to put the kids to bed first. OITNB is the story of a suburban girl that lands herself in an all-women’s jail in upstate New York. After many laughs we started discussing all the ways that being a Mom/SAHM is like being on an episode of OITNB.
Can you relate? There are many more similarities, but here are our favorites..
1. It’s customary to see food being thrown at meal time.
2. You rarely shower alone, and often there isn’t any hot water left.
3. You grow oddly comfortable with doing #1 or #2 while making eye contact with another human.
4. Potty training exploits can often end with toddlers urinating on the floor like Crazy Eyes.
 crazy eyes
5. Certain guards (dads) are constantly smuggling in contraband (candy) for the prisoners (kids).
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6. We rarely get furlough granted unless it involves a trip to the grocery store or Costco.

7. During transport all kids are on lock down in carseats.

8. Visitors are eagerly anticipated, but they usually can’t stay very long.
9. We are constantly yelling ‘No Touching!’

10. The kids all have nicknames that aren’t their given names (bubs, macaroni, Lilly-face)

11. Toddlers are always looking for an escape route from their child proofed areas.
12. The picky eaters will often make you think they’ve joined the hunger strike with Soso and Sister Jane.
13. The territorial battle between V and Red have nothing on two toddlers locked on being in control of the iPad.
14. Someone is always screaming in the background or cutting off your phone conversations.
15. We have our own SHU for bad behavior – TIME OUT!!
If you’ve watched the show and are a mom or SAHM I’m sure you have some great additions to our list – feel free to leave them below in the comments!

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